It’s come for my daughter, rough night last night but today the sun is streaming through our windows and she’s up with her lego and a normal temp.
We are tired but day two is going ok so far.
I just finished up my job at the hospital, I have to focus on study and my art. Life has just been huge. I’ve never had my own place before and it is my safe space so of course there’s a lot of grief to wade through, for so many things. Then on a more practical level there’s also the constant discovering of the things I do not have – like a can opener and of course this is only truly realized when I NEED IT.
I’m getting there.
Today was a rough day but I walked through the cemetry and watched the birds. Sulphur crested cockatoos, you lovely screaming jerks. Yesterday I was near there also and it was pretty glorious, I helping a friend with a log and then we had too much coffee in the late afternoon.
Today I can’t do anything. I have an assignment that is close to being finished but I have lost a lot of confidence with everything lately, I feel like I can’t do it.
Anyway I cannot concerntrate, I can’t draw or write (academically) so I thought I’d have a look through my sketchbooks. It’s significant to me how much I have turned back to my sketching these last few hard years, similar to when I was so very lost in Berlin. (My project Berlin Domestic, which I still believe saved my life as well as the doctor who gave me a jar of vegemite saying – “You Australians, you are the only people who eat this”). I look at these drawings and I recall the feelings, the places, the people and their smiles, people in their last weeks, days and moments of their lives and then what the place feels like without them.
Different but the same.
I really love working in hospitals and look forward to being back there again one day.
Then there are other memories, which are just that, memories.
Now there’s more but I’ll save that for another time. I’ll keep wading and hopefully the hurt will pass soon, it always does.
Time to continue writing and look if I fail I’ll bloody do it all again.
I’ve had a very nice Easter break – finished an essay, did another assessment at uni, hung out with my neighbour who made us potatoes and tea over a fire. I’ve put my new place together a bit more, had nice times with my kidlet and her dad. Kiddo and I also got books and ate too much chocolate. Tried to draw and paint, to little success but at least I have the mental and physical space for that now. I am very grateful for that.
Anyway Neighbour wanted to know what I was working on other than the things I draw on my breaks at the hospital.. and when I was going through my sketchbook today I found my answer for him:
Part of a birthday gift that’s never going to be.
It’s been a wild month and I have been in overdrive for the entirety of it. I am exhausted but still have plenty to do, I am trying to balance some rest in amongst it all.
But I promised myself after I finished an essay and handed it in I’d do a drawing! So here we are with little Luna Latte snuggled up in her new bed my neighbour gave her as a housewarming gift.
I’m just about to jump into work for a bit and also get my drawing desk into my new apartment this weekend. That is very exciting because I miss it. And two essays.. You know academic writing is it’s own beast and I am not that skilled at it but hey, I’m giving it a good crack.
I write to you from my newly installed internet connection at my new home. I have all the natural light to draw by and neighbours who have already helped out with herbs for cooking!
This past month I have been working shift work, full time, studying and trying to move. It’s been challenging.. I have two papers to write, I will get to them.
For now there are red beans and rice bubbling away on the stove top, Daughter has a new book to tuck into and I am still trying to find places to put things. There’s a lot of books, pens and lego 🙂
Thank you to mumma and Gene for helping me with so much xx
I am having Quite The Time. Trying to get life sorted and be a grown up is tricky! I am looking for a car and my own place – it is brutal. My job – I am a student nurse at a hospital – is so amazing and busy and blows my mind. I love it.
Doing some paitning on my time off but study is also starting up. I was in labs ay uni last week, so much to learn. Health stuff is so cool, I want to nail reading and interpreting ECGs, luckily I have a friend who is going to help me out with that. Leaning the physiology of pharmacology too – oh my brain, I hope you take this in.. Anyway it is really goo to work at a hospital because it puts all the learning into context and I need that. I think all nurses do, studying online does really come with challenges – mainly the disconnect.
OK I better hang out the laundry and make pie.
I got to have a chat with Ben Plazzer on his podcast 20 Square Blocks. We went to VCA around the same time but never met! We had a great chat, have a listen:
IN YOUR EARS
Thanks for having me Ben and thank you to my friend Dr David Waldron for putting us in touch.
Hello and happy Sunday!
I have my drawing currently on display at the Art Gallery of Ballarat in their group exhibition. Open from 22nd of January – 8th of May. More details are on their website: Clicky click
The photo is taken on my birthday 🙂
The exhibition displays recently aquired works along side of older works in the gallery collection – how cool is that. It’s really cool.
I promise myself that I will put myself first. I have not been doing this and the person who truly pays for it is me. I have learned a lot about the world in which we have constructed and mens entitlement to womens time and our bodies. Perhaps they don’t realize it but I don’t believe this to be true – I think they know.
No longer will I explain myself and it’s a powerful place to be. I am done and I will never do things the same way as I have in the past. This makes me feel free and at peace in a way I have never quite experienced before.