Experimenting and failing

I’m trying to do new things, I think it is good to try and push oneself. But it’s also good to be able to see when it’s not working out. I don’t usually allow for this. Time restraints weigh heavy on me… I don’t like having to do difficult things in my studio when life is a little difficult at times and then I end up having nothing going my way. But – I’ve been wanting to try things and it is getting to a point that I think if I don’t do it now, I never will.
So I have been painting, and I’ve been trying out different drawing styles – so far I’ve just pushed myself to keep going with them until I feel like I have explored it enough. I’ve also been reading a lot – some fiction for a book club, and a lot of history on ancient Celts. I’m also reading about climate change and thinking a lot about landscapes and our demands on it.
Incredibly fascinating stuff.
I thought I had an idea where all of this is going, but I don’t. It’s a little terrifying at times but I do boxing to balance out my frustrations and we will see where this all goes or doesn’t go.
Keeping most things offline have felt important at this time too. That was hard because notifications are like a drug ( shut up, you love it too ) and I can’t help but want to be reflective online rather than present in real life. I’m trying to correct that too. I keep thinking about 2008 – ten years ago, when I was in my final year of university and how I let that large body of work develop in my studio and no one saw it until the exhibition at the end of the year. I’m aware that this is not how things really work now and progress shots are interesting – however I need to balance this out better and I find social media is too much involved at times it shouldn’t be. For me, anyway.

I’ve not successfully completed a work for some months now – except for two small portraits of animals, which I think worked out pretty awesome – but this is OK. This is good to do, or so I keep telling myself 😛

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