surgery

Is boring.
I mean, doing the surgery is probably very interesting. I imagine they have to train for many years and decide what they want to specialize in and then there’d be many fascinating cases and the human body is so interesting. But then, even then, I’d imagine that that would become a little humm drumm too.
But here I am, in bed, bored AF but healing nicely. Today is the first day I have woken up and not been aching or stinging. I know I got to take it slow and easy, but it’s time to get the hell out of bed and start moving. Thank goodness..

The day after, when I was like oh hey I feel fine and thought I could just keep going and I was very wrong..

Kidlet held my hand, cuddled me, made me fruit salad and drew me this game to keep me entertained.

I felt pretty messed up and some friends took Kiddo for a bush walk and I like slept ALL DAY.. ( thank you dear, dear friends for everything .. )

She did some observational drawing – I love, love, love these little mushrooms.


And so, it is done. I did a bunch of preparation work before this so now I can slowly start getting back to it. It is hard to put things down when I am inspired, and it is hard to surrender to the body and it’s needing to heal. But I did, it is done. Thank you family and friends for being so loving and kind and helping me.

New camera joy!

Today I learnt that I can take my time to process things and I can take my time with grief. Because I feel so crammed into the mother, wife, woman roles I feel that I have to process things in quick time. It’s ok to feel things but make sure you do it quickly so dinner is on the table, the child is picked up on time, everything has it’s place and everything in it’s place. Good, done, now tidy up and get on with it.

But when I do this – when anyone does this – I just find myself not ok. I find that I want to ruin things and ruin myself. You know, that old self destruction thing that so many of us are ace at.

Totally not the kind of post you thought you were going to read with that title, hey? Same here.
Well anyway, I feel shit. I am still sad about many things that happened this year. So when kidlet is at school I am dropping the run errands, go be social, clean the house, cook food stuff and think I’ll trade it all in for some f**king self care, watch the birds, potter in the garden DRAW type stuff.

And whilst on my gardening mission this weekend ( bought a lot of seedling and soil with poo, woo hoo! ) I was charging the old faithful to take some pictures and Husband gave me a gift – a new camera. Sony alpha a6000! One that has lasting battery life! One that is portable! One that is MINE! And so I’ve been on a few wanderings taking pictures since.

nck Kitty – who is currently laying in a patch of sunlight, playing with her tail.

decorations Paper decorations.

cricket Little cricket friend.

havinawalk Cold Sunday evening stroll.

sunlit

pinecone

pathway

cave

waterrush

There are many, many more but they are of my kidelt and she can do with them as she will when she’s older.

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That’s me on Friday, I feel a bit better today then I look in it 😉

Eight years in self portraits

I’ve been thinking of doing this for a while, creating one post with all the self portraits – selfies – that I have done over the years. I’ve been examining myself for about eight years now, I haven’t always liked what I’ve seen. But it is an impressive, sometimes scary, sometimes sad and sometimes funny collection. I know I don’t have copies of all of them. They’re spread out over four old computers and some have probably accidentally/ on purposely been deleted.

2008 – Australia

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edit

2009 – Berlin

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2010 – Wales

Caption 1

2011 Berlin

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2012 Berlin > Australia

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apart_lilymaemartin

badone_2012

2013 – Australia, working as an illustrator

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self_lmmartin

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toothy

me_lmmartin

2014 Rural Victoria to Victorian town

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self-july-2014-lily-mae-martin

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2015

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SelfPortrait2015_lily_mae_martin

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go_to_sleep_lily_mae_martin

lunchtime_lily_mae_martin

nights_lily_mae_martin

tuesday_lily_mae_martin

heat_lily_mae_martin

aprilnight_lily_mae_martin

morning_lily_mae_martin

july27_lily_mae_martin

DunnyCan_lily_mae_martin

2016

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jan3_lily_mae_martin

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I completely hate this one!

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ag_lilymaemartin

identity_lily_mae_martin

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And trust me, this is not all of them and there will be more to come!
I am really proud of my work.

Drawings from the sketchbook, drawing on the drawing board

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Quick drawing I did of a beautiful teddy bear my Grandmother made before I left Brisbane last week.

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Blind contour line drawing of Jeanette Winterson when I saw her a couple of weeks back.

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Growing my hair out, sort of like a hair helmet at the moment! I am thrilled about it, as you can see 😉

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Quick sketch I did at the dinner table while waiting for the vegan red beans and rice to cook down.. Kidelt drew next to me.

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Naked!

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More naked!

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Today I found a wooden toy phone for $1, it’s pretty cool and kidelt loves it.

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This is a very large drawing I have been making a start on this week.. It is so hard but I am really happy with how it is going/ growing.

Paper cranes, kissing kitty & Meanjin illustrations

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I finished Poppet’s room! Though, after a couple of nights she came out one morning and declared “I found a few more spots for you to hang more paper birds mummy” and I laughed and laughed…

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Fabulous photos taken by Gene-he-who-is-good-at-everything.

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This picture is an outtake of something I am exploring – this kitty is truly a gift to our little family.

But, she was unimpressed:

FACE

eeyes

Also this month the new Meanjin is out ( Winter 2016 ) and I have four drawings in there, paire with words by Damon Young. Here is an example:

identity_lily_mae_martin

I am working on a mammoth drawing – a large drawing, not one of a mammoth though that would be cool also. At times I have to step away from it because it is so complex and it is doing my head in. But I am truly happy with the start that I have made and I hope to get it finished in a couple of months. A lot of work for one piece but I’m trying new things and pushing myself, which is important and must be done. I can hear Grandma saying to me “Why don’t you spend more time on your work?” Because I used to rush through things all the time.

There are other drawings and paintings forming, I haven’t digitized them, I just want to let them take form in their own good time.

Hair cut

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4:30AM, train ride, dawn rise, coffee and blueberry danish, another coffee, hair cut, smells nice, old friend, yum cha – dumplings, art shop, book shop, tram ride, yellow shoes, train home, kidlet cuddle, roast vegetables, vacuuming, mopping, bathing the child, sweeping, kitten cuddles, two loads of laundry, singing goodnight song, washing dishes, baking banana bread, decided not to make bunting for gathering, drew a self portrait.

Good night.