surgery

Is boring.
I mean, doing the surgery is probably very interesting. I imagine they have to train for many years and decide what they want to specialize in and then there’d be many fascinating cases and the human body is so interesting. But then, even then, I’d imagine that that would become a little humm drumm too.
But here I am, in bed, bored AF but healing nicely. Today is the first day I have woken up and not been aching or stinging. I know I got to take it slow and easy, but it’s time to get the hell out of bed and start moving. Thank goodness..

The day after, when I was like oh hey I feel fine and thought I could just keep going and I was very wrong..

Kidlet held my hand, cuddled me, made me fruit salad and drew me this game to keep me entertained.

I felt pretty messed up and some friends took Kiddo for a bush walk and I like slept ALL DAY.. ( thank you dear, dear friends for everything .. )

She did some observational drawing – I love, love, love these little mushrooms.


And so, it is done. I did a bunch of preparation work before this so now I can slowly start getting back to it. It is hard to put things down when I am inspired, and it is hard to surrender to the body and it’s needing to heal. But I did, it is done. Thank you family and friends for being so loving and kind and helping me.

“You draw even when you’re upset”

Is something G said to me a few weeks back and it has been stuck in my mind. Especially over these last few weeks since being back, when so much life things have been happening and I have had to get very creative about getting myself time and space to draw. A lot of the time I worry that I can’t get and never get anything done.

I’ve been scratching away at this drawing for the last almost two weeks – in between looking after a very unwell child ( poor pickle ) and supervising the Kitty and The Chooks..
It’s about A5 in size, so it is very small for me. I’m not too happy about my last drawing – I mean it just feels like it is missing some magic. So I’m busy doing the ground work – the work before the work – right now.

Little one has been ill, and I drew this of her while she was napping.. Only half way through it her temperature spiked and I rushed her to see a doctor. What happened next was only stuff that I never even dreamed of – being a parent is so glamourous – but she came good and that is what really matters.

She drew and cut out mermaids – there are like twenty of them and I am meaning to work out a way to put them altogether to keep them safe. It can be maddening how much stuff gets everywhere with little people – but finding her drawings really, really is something special.

So, the chooks. We got these girls about a fortnight ago now, I can’t believe how lucky we are.. They are 4 and 5 years old and are not seen apart. I am home a lot so they get freerange of the yard. They even put themselves to bed – why can’t children be more like chickens!? I kid, I kid..
I’ve had a burst of new ideas for an artwork, but because of Life things I can’t get to it right away, so today I thought I’d draw the girls their portraits.

Meet Sooty & Maude

That’s all from me for now — it is time to shut down and get offline while I experiment and play with ideas.

Near Harris Reward, Tasmania – New Drawing

Well, that was hard!

Near Harris Reward
By Lily Mae Martin
112 x 75cm
Ink on Paper
2017

I did another whole different drawing while trying to do this one, this one was so so so hard. It’s the largest and most dense drawing I have done ( to date )..

THE FERNS!

I really want to get back to West Coast of Tasmania, I don’t feel like I explored as much as I could have.. I didn’t get to do as much as I could. I’m trying to move things about to make it happen – but money and time do not come when you want it…if only! The Secret failed me 😛

Still I am untangling the experience and still I am scratching a little lostly ( that is probably not a word, oh well ) at paper. Behind my eyes I am back there and going for those walks through shrubs and trees with things growing off of things and I don’t know what anything is called.

Little clueless speck.

These last weeks have been on and off – Kidlet with a tempreture of almost 40, we got chickens! Gardening and cooking and baking with my lovely cousin. Life life is good though winter is not my favourite time – it is just weather and here in Oz, the cold is quite mild.

I must get back to the scratching and the f**king ferns.

To Grow Things

It’s a cold morning and the rejection comes in on my phone – I had a feeling this was the answer.
I’m at the back of a friend’s house, sitting on their back porch waiting for help; I’ve put too many pellets in the chicken feeder and the thing has fallen apart. My hands are covered in chicken shit and I cannot work out how to put the few pieces together – the green bit, the white bit, a wing nut, a screw and a spring. It’s the last day of looking after these chickens, the last day of the long weekend that was in no way relaxing but a hell of a lot of fun. Especially the chickens. Oh, and the little boy who looked at my elephant ears plant and said “Wow, you are really good at growing plants.” ( I’m not, but I’ll take that complement little guy! )

I’ve spilt pellets everywhere and I am truly questioning if I should be commiting myself to chicken care and then I look up at the chooks and the sparrows fluttering about and help comes and my doubt is distracted.
It’s so bloody easy to fix, I should feel embarressed, but I don’t. He’s better at this stuff than I, and that’s OK. I say I didn’t get in ( to the prize ) and he hugs me and says that he is sorry and I shrug and say that I’ll do better next time. If I were to say I am upset, it would be a lie, this time. Sure, it’d be nice to be in it and I so want to be in these things. But I also think that it isn’t my time just yet. Just yet. But soon. Like, really soon.

I cast it out of my mind and clean what I can. Feel proud that I got the chickens through the weekend and even managed some yummy food scraps for them. I’ve been reading about types of chickens and plants and growing things and feel I am past most of that crippling doubt that usually sends me to bed when I am starting something new. I am so not good at new things, but you know I just got to get better at it – we are forever learning.

Sometimes I look back on my earlier days and feel sad I didn’t allow myself to get into gardening earlier in my life. I used renting as an excuse – but I could’ve joined a community garden. I know that they were a huge thing in Berlin. I think I just didn’t want things to get in the way of my sads. Because that is what gardening has done for me – taken me out of me. There is something about putting your hands into the earth and caring for tiny seeds, sprouts, harvesting, digging and turning and starting it all over again. Accidently killing things and learning from that. Seeing what actually is a hardy plant, what can take on full sun, transplanting other plants when the small parsely bunch grew into a big bush ( har har ) and I can’t eat enough of the stuff to keep it under control!

Part of me hates winter a lot, but now that I am growing things it’s really given me the chance to learn more and plan more for what I want to do for the garden. I mean, cold is still not my favourite thing but hell I’d rather be contrucitve with my time than complain all the time. I hope I get better at this, and can grow my own vegetables and fruits – or at least more than I do now. It’s humbling, it’s yummier, it’s a little good I can do for the world and teach my little one as I go. Hopefully set her up with skills to learn how to feed herself!

Artworks for sale

Hello there – I have a number of artworks that are framed and avalible for sale at Scott Livesey Galleries in Melbourne. I thought I’d put together a post with their details and if you are interested please contact the gallery on T: +61 3 9824 7770 or email at INFO@SCOTTLIVESEYGALLERIES.COM

First up, the landscapes
Haunted – 56 x 76cm, ink on paper, 2017

Waterloo State Forest, View From Back – 105 x 75cm, ink on paper, 2016

In The Gully, 56 x 76cm, ink on paper, 2016

Then – the nudes – these vary in sizes

As yet untitled, 56 x 76cm, ink on paper, 2017

As yet untitled, 56x76cm, ink on paper, 2017

Rebirth, 75 x 105cm, ink on paper, 2017

Ride, 30 x 30cm, ink on paper, 2016

Dancer, 30 x 30cm, ink on paper, 2016

There are more, if you follow this link: Lily Mae Martin at Scott Livesey Galleries

Pens down, feet on the ground


I was fumbling about in the studio so I put things down and have been out and about. Autumn has been beautiful and I’ve been walking; looking at the birds and enjoying the colour of the leaves changing, watching the clouds and taking in the smoke from all of the burn offs – ’tis the season.


I’ve been reading about colour and thinking about the different was I could utilize them in artworks – all stuff I must have studied once upon a time however it has been a long time! So these thoughts have been informing the way I have been looking at the landscapes I have been trudging around in. It’s pretty amazing.


When I can’t adventure I’ve been weeding in my garden and making plans for what new friends we can grow/ get for our yard.

My Poppet is unwell this evening and I use these moments as a time to do a quick sketch!

Two new drawings

I am SO PLEASED with these two – I still don’t have titles yet, I’ll come up with something soon.
They are 56 x 76cm, ink on paper.

I was working on other drawings in the same style but different subjects, however I am not too sure about them, so will sit on them for a little while longer. Working on two images at once is ideal, I think three and four pushed it a little too far for me and I got a little stressed out on the way.
Always learning!

Paint sketches, pen sketches

Hiiiiiiii there.
I have been excited to post here as it’s been quite the week AND THEN I got a nice big fat rejection. Well, I tried! After a week of a brief but powerful existential crisis, then a break through with my work which felt like it was teetering on the edge of madness, then onto a day of a depression that felt like it was consuming me from inside out and now well I feel deeply exhausted. But human. That’s good, yeah? No. Yes. Maybe. Who can tell.

Anyway I am trying to not get too far ahead of myself and overthink things and think that I understand anything because I don’t. I don’t get it, I don’t think anyone gets it and that’s cool. There’s crumpets and there’s pen and paper and some paint, it’s all good.

I feel motivated to draw and paint and I made some things this week that really felt exciting. I made some shit things too, but that’s par for the course. Though, I am not posting the shit things here 😉

I did some small studies in oil, I have more on the way. I want to keep my painting loose, I always assumed I’d be a photo realist painter – I do not know why. Something to do with the story that we tell ourselves? Anyway I am still deeply, deeply moved by the impressionist paintings. Which I never thought much of until they came to the National Gallery of Victoria when I was working there and the paint just took me to another place. Paintings are not the same in a book or on the screen. But as much as I love paint as a medium I am so so so very bad at being ‘looser’ with it. I always find I over work my paintings, and not in a good way at all. The one time I smashed it I had done many studies – in paint and in drawing so I am going to go back to that.

These are my favourite ones that I made this week, they are all one layer with added highlights on canvas paper.

I also made some blind contour line drawings as well – these are a few of my favs

Some of these ideas I haven been sitting on for a while, I knew I wanted to paint them but haven’t felt like I could paint in a while. Now I am like hey stop thinking thinking thinking and start doing and making and working it all out with your hands. Don’t know where it’ll all go which is absolutely and utterly terrifying but that’s got to be a good thing also, yes? If they don’t work out I can just go back to what I know works, yes? Or burn it all down. Ha.

I am pretty proud of them, hope you like them also and I am onto doing some other studies that I think are lovely too.

So for this week and then next – Keep the faith, take risks, eat crumpets, pat a cat, high five a kidlet and be kind to you.