Struggletown

Articulating new work has been really hard. I get the impression that people think artists come up with an idea in their head and then make it. Maybe for some artists it does work that way, but it never has for me.
It is very important to me that I see some sort of progression throughout my pieces. I understand that not every work will be a masterpiece and I know not every work will be moving forward as there can be a sort of one step forward two steps back kind of thing. As frustrating as this tends to be I can generally move through it.
At the moment, however, I am a little stuck. Perhaps this is a life thing too – there are moments where we feel like we can’t get a break, can’t get a win. I just can’t seem to crack it. I’ve begun many works that I have had to abandon, I’ve also been working for a very long time on a piece only to realize it is an epic fail and or I’ve accidently ruin it! Very disheartening.
I guess with art there’s no trajectory. I thought I was on an up for a bit – my work was moving forward and the many, many applications and prizes that I enter paid off. But this year, so far – brutal. I cannot get my work to move forward, or I am failing to see/ work out how to satisfy this within myself and the work. I feel like I’ve burnt out but hardly done anything. Or have nothing I really want to show.
At the moment I can’t see anything good in my work. It’s nowhere near where I want it to be and I have no idea what I am doing. I’ve set myself the task of spending a few hours each day, doing something practical in the studio, When the alarm goes off I leave and do other things with my time and try not to get too emotional about it all. It’s a massively emotional thing for me – so much of my identity is tied up within this. So failing over and over again – well, I feel pretty rubbish.

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