While pulling together a new body of work I am trying to find words for them also. Which I do accept I have not always been good at – I am terrible with titles but sometimes, I get it right. I try. What are the rules anyway? I don’t think anyone will tell me.
Here are some small drawings that have come into being in these last few weeks – more to come
I think I have blogged less than ever before, I think I have become far more weary of what to share, I’m more uncertain about my work and practice and where it all sits. What it all means. Maybe I am searching for meaning and there is none. I don’t know where my place is in this world and when I think I am onto something, I’m wrong. It doesn’t work out.
I’ve been off kilter since May – since my time in Western Tasmania. I came back three weeks early and I’ve never fully written about what happened there, and I won’t – but I didn’t come back simply because I missed my family. I found myself in a deeply unpleasent situtaion and I thought I’d cut my losses and get out of there rather than push through to have an exhibiton. I didn’t take a car with me and there is only a bus on Tuesdays and Fridays ( which I do recommened, the people there are so incredibly lovely ) – so I went and stayed in a hostel until the bus day came.
After this I couldn’t really talk about it and I didn’t go into my studio. I threw myself into the domestics, I took my kid to the school dance and did our hair all silly. I just thought I’d leave the Art and the Artist part of me be. I thought I’d do those things and it would pass and it’s almost mid September, I’m not sure it has. I’m working again but the stop start is greater than usual, I still don’t feel like I have it.
Humiliation is probably one of the worst things to feel about oneslef and ones work – but I think that that best word to express how I feel about it all. How I feel about myself, currently.
How can a place move me so much but be so hard for me to get back to?
I still dream about it, and then I wake up. I have explored certain routes to get myself back there and it isn’t working. I do now know what I do wrong so right now – I am not doing anything.
I feel like this year I am turning myself inside out and paths that I used to take that worked are now exhausted. I don’t really know what to do next.
Somepart of me unraveled, and I can’t work out what part. But it feels almost like my heart broke in Tasmania, and I don’t know how to fix it.
I loved it there, I am so thankful I got to go and to meet some of the best people. I just can’t seem to make things right for myself and it seemed to have come from that time. Perhaps it is a case of being in two places at once, wanting to be but I cannot be.
Hello – it has been a while.
It’s almost mid August and I find that this month is always such a slog. It’s the last of winter and my little family’s routine is a little off kilter for us all, but we are getting through. Modern family – move further away from the big smoke, meaning longer commutes and everyone misses everyone.
I’ve been working on a bunch of drawings, they are taking their time to articulate and I find it has also become a skill; to let that articulation have it’s own place and take the time. What I mean is, with smart phones and social media I can become ( and I know I am not alone in this ) caught up in getting the right lighting and angles for a photo for instagram, rather then staying focused on creating. I am trying to redirect my focus. I feel like the largest part of my art ‘career’ ( and parenting journey ) has been hugely impacted by social media and I don’t want to bang on about all the negatives, there’s already plenty of that going on, but I am trying to reshape it to fit in better – rather than dominate and direct.
Gosh – is any of this making sense?!
Anyway, I am here and I am making and I am waiting on news and making plans. More art to come soon. Soon as within a few months, not internet soon as in a couple of days. How distorted has our sense of time become!?
Here is a drawing of Kidlet with ears on. Shes’ the best and I love her.
I had a title, but I have completely forgotten it. If I explained the month that I have had, it would make sense why. But the details are boring. Point is, I did the drawing and here it is. It’s part of a new little series that I am working on. I am pretty excited about the blending of my two loves into the work – body and land.
For now she is Fern Girl.
By Lily Mae Martin
56 x 75cm
Ink on paper
I am due to have an exhibition at the beginning of next year. So I will be off working hard to produce new works. Really excited about it.
G’Day – couldn’t write about this last week as the website was down. Thank you for the lovely fellas who fixed this! WordPress Wizards.
From 22/07/2017 to 12/08/2017 The Winter Salon is on view at Scott Livesey Galleries. It is a mixed hang of all the artists represented by the gallery. Including works by Luke Scibberas, Joshua Yeldham, Bern Emmerich, Yukultji Napangati, myself ( above artwork is in the exhibit ) and many more.
I’m working towards an exhibition at the beginning of 2018 – so I will probably be quite here but probably not. I’ll be working super hard regardless – because I am really excited and feel my drawing has gotten better.
I got the chance to do a short course in Melbourne recently, I did the hard and soft ground etching short course at the Australian Print Gallery with Simon White. I didn’t do a soft ground plate as it looked precarious and I was really just interested in hard ground. I’ve dabbled in etching before but this set up is unlike any I have ever seen – it is amazing! The attention to detail, this place is the dream. I did get a little frustrated because I am deeply ambitious, I don’t know how to be a learner and did get upset that I wasn’t a master printmaker by the end of the three days. ( Hilarios, I know – but this is how I work, so.. that’s the truth )
Julien’s Garden in sepia.
This was my first plate – I did re work it three times, I don’t feel it was successful but that’s OK as learning. I think that the right side of the plate works better than the left side. I could re work it some more.
Brunch at Lake Wendouree Chine-collé in sepia. Much happier with this print, it was reworked twice.
This is defo something I want to explore more – it is really a matter of access to the equipment though. It’s not easy thing to do. But the process is really calming. I think I could make some really good work.
Family Portrait, including Kitty.
Kidlet has been getting really creative over these holidays. I wake up to the sounds of her drawing, furiously. It fills my heart. I’ve gotten her some paint pens and though not cheap – they really are being made good use of.
She’s drawn many a pony, all of her classmates, many portraits of herself and one of Grandma knitting – including wool, needles and numbers of stitches and of course – her Beanie Boos.
Though she’s just yelled at me “YOU HATE MY BEANIE BOOS, DON’T YOU!?” So I think school going back may be good .. 😛
I mean, doing the surgery is probably very interesting. I imagine they have to train for many years and decide what they want to specialize in and then there’d be many fascinating cases and the human body is so interesting. But then, even then, I’d imagine that that would become a little humm drumm too.
But here I am, in bed, bored AF but healing nicely. Today is the first day I have woken up and not been aching or stinging. I know I got to take it slow and easy, but it’s time to get the hell out of bed and start moving. Thank goodness..
The day after, when I was like oh hey I feel fine and thought I could just keep going and I was very wrong..
Kidlet held my hand, cuddled me, made me fruit salad and drew me this game to keep me entertained.
I felt pretty messed up and some friends took Kiddo for a bush walk and I like slept ALL DAY.. ( thank you dear, dear friends for everything .. )
She did some observational drawing – I love, love, love these little mushrooms.
And so, it is done. I did a bunch of preparation work before this so now I can slowly start getting back to it. It is hard to put things down when I am inspired, and it is hard to surrender to the body and it’s needing to heal. But I did, it is done. Thank you family and friends for being so loving and kind and helping me.
Is something G said to me a few weeks back and it has been stuck in my mind. Especially over these last few weeks since being back, when so much life things have been happening and I have had to get very creative about getting myself time and space to draw. A lot of the time I worry that I can’t get and never get anything done.
I’ve been scratching away at this drawing for the last almost two weeks – in between looking after a very unwell child ( poor pickle ) and supervising the Kitty and The Chooks.. It’s about A5 in size, so it is very small for me. I’m not too happy about my last drawing – I mean it just feels like it is missing some magic. So I’m busy doing the ground work – the work before the work – right now.
Little one has been ill, and I drew this of her while she was napping.. Only half way through it her temperature spiked and I rushed her to see a doctor. What happened next was only stuff that I never even dreamed of – being a parent is so glamourous – but she came good and that is what really matters.
She drew and cut out mermaids – there are like twenty of them and I am meaning to work out a way to put them altogether to keep them safe. It can be maddening how much stuff gets everywhere with little people – but finding her drawings really, really is something special.
So, the chooks. We got these girls about a fortnight ago now, I can’t believe how lucky we are.. They are 4 and 5 years old and are not seen apart. I am home a lot so they get freerange of the yard. They even put themselves to bed – why can’t children be more like chickens!? I kid, I kid..
I’ve had a burst of new ideas for an artwork, but because of Life things I can’t get to it right away, so today I thought I’d draw the girls their portraits.
Meet Sooty & Maude
That’s all from me for now — it is time to shut down and get offline while I experiment and play with ideas.
Near Harris Reward
By Lily Mae Martin
112 x 75cm
Ink on Paper
I did another whole different drawing while trying to do this one, this one was so so so hard. It’s the largest and most dense drawing I have done ( to date )..
I really want to get back to West Coast of Tasmania, I don’t feel like I explored as much as I could have.. I didn’t get to do as much as I could. I’m trying to move things about to make it happen – but money and time do not come when you want it…if only! The Secret failed me 😛
Still I am untangling the experience and still I am scratching a little lostly ( that is probably not a word, oh well ) at paper. Behind my eyes I am back there and going for those walks through shrubs and trees with things growing off of things and I don’t know what anything is called.
Little clueless speck.
These last weeks have been on and off – Kidlet with a tempreture of almost 40, we got chickens! Gardening and cooking and baking with my lovely cousin. Life life is good though winter is not my favourite time – it is just weather and here in Oz, the cold is quite mild.
I must get back to the scratching and the f**king ferns.