Summer holidays trying to get work done for made up deadlines has got to go – in the bin! Life is so fleeting and I’m enjoying the sky, the birds, long cuddles in bed every morning with my growing too fast child. I’m feeling deeply fatigued by a lot of things that used to work for me.. Internet outrage, working too hard but not at all smartly, being competitive for some unknown outcome. All the fluff so people will think of me fondly .. Or at least think of me.
I realised with pushing through December/ January madness that I haven’t set up too much for the year to come. I set up one BIG thing – midyear. But overall it is clear and I’m not even too sure about what kind of work I want to create. I think I need to just create without too many goals in place at the moment, to see if I can make something new. Of course, my irrational thinking goes IT’S ALL OVER FOR ME, I’LL NEVER MAKE WORK AGAIN and then I have to go hey look at something amazing. Like, poppy seeds..
Flowers blooming that are the size of dinner plates
Repotting plants and envying the simplicity of my kitty’s life
I have managed to scratch away 1/6 of a landscape. That’s pretty good.
Ok well now I am off for an adventure to a tiny dot in the Pacific Ocean.
Holidays keep on going, the heat has been up and down. There has been much swimming, too many late nights and very disrupted sleep. There’s been movies, books, mangos, playdates, puppy patting, babysitting, kitty patting, parasol and sandals, sunburn, blooming tomato plants and cuddles! Tomorrow is my work day, I do look forward to it but will see what we see. January is always like this, always must approach it with patience!
The following drawing is by kidlet. She did it in my sketch book, which is next to the above drawing.. It’s of Sponge Bob Square Pants and friends… I am not a fan of Bob, Kidlet knows this and testament to her sick sense of humour she’s GONE AND DRAWN IT IN MY SKETCH BOOK NEXT TO MY SAD SELF PORTRAIT! Which is hilarious.
Ok, so, heat and dinner time and a bedtime that won’t be successful this eve so must remember to breathe breathe breathe.
Well, it happened. My dearly loved laptop computer has died. I think I got it for my 30th birthday? Or maybe thirty first? Who can tell in my old age 😉 But the other day, whilst researching the care of our ( large and dominating ) indoor plants, I knocked a full mug of coffee all over it and poof! It’s screen went dark for the last time. I cried – not sure what I was upset about more – the coffee or the computer – but there you go. I love both of these things in equal measure. Just the computer is like, wayyyyy more expensive to fix/ replace.
Husband, being the amazing and thoughtful and practical being that he is – had already created a thingo to back the shit up out of everything. Because I have a history of killing computers with liquids, because I have a knack for taking thousands of photographs and refusing to give any of them up thus taking up HEAPS of space, because it is the right thing to do.
It’s stalled work a little, I must admit. School holidays is a tricky enough time to try and get work done in and this on top of it – well frankly, it forced me to stop.
That’s ok. Things haven’t really been going my way of late. So many technical difficulties, so many people not replying, so many of the things. I feel up and down but overall – I feel pretty positive about the year ahead.
I hope to challenge my drawing more this year. Let’s see where I can take it. I hope to see a body of work through, but if it still needs to be made, than it still needs to be made. We will see. Well, I will see and then I’ll let you know.
So Husband built me a new computer, lending parts from his and mostly made up of my late father in laws. It’s a desktop, so this here prone-to-bouts-of-depression-person ( um, me ) can no longer sit in her bed and watch movies in her pyjamas all day – no sir – I got to get OUT of bed to do that! 😉
Anyway, I felt I should write. It’s my birthday very soon – thirty four. I’m liking my thirties so much more than my twenties ( which is hard to compare because they seem like different lifetimes ). I cannot believe that I have been with Husband for ten years now. We’ve done so much within that decade. I hope to do many things more.
I have to go because the child has been very VERY quite …
Ah, school holidays.
Movie, draw, draw, movie, movie, draw, draw, eat, wee, sleep…. Kidlet did hang out the washing without being asked and weeded some of the garden. I felt like these holidays were a huge abyss opening up in front of us all and now I can see the end of it already so quick sticks gotta make the most of it… And so, here are some of the drawings we have been doing together:
I love how there is an arrow used to demonstrate that Kitty has transformed into a Pegasus. Super hero Kidelt is like “Let’s Save the World!” and casual-kitty-now-Pegasus still has a meh attitude of a cat “Okay”.. haha.. Okay. LOVE it.
NYE was SO BORING. But that’s ok. Just a night, I drew my new jug, it’s blue.
The jar with the dying flowers was one of about four at the time. Kidet will often come inside announcing “MUMMY, I HAVE PICKED YOU SOME FLOWERS!” and her fist will be full of various weeds. I will fill a jar with water and it’ll sit about the house until they have wilted and the water is putrid. But I never deny them. I do ask her not to pick flowers too much though, there’s got to be something left for the bees.
Snowman drawing, I assume it’s because we are still watching all the terrible Christmas themed movies just to really get it out of our systems.
Sleepy face, we have been very active despite me just telling you about all the movies we have been watching. But I don’t have to share everything 😉
Deep reflection of the last twelve months prior to this very date, peppered with metaphors both unique to my quirks and cliché to a person of my age/ experience/ socioeconomic status. Positive affirmations about the next 12 months to come – possibly something humorous, maybe something lovely and always something completely unrealistic. A nice and tidy round up of all the reflections and losses and gains of the year, signed off with some best wishes to whoever reads this thing. And always a reminder – especially to those of you in the Southern hemisphere – stay fucking hydrated.
Also – there’s a drawing I did of my face.
I’m feeling daunted and inspired.. I am feeling all the things. I want to get onto the small works but I also love to draw big but I also feel like I need to challenge myself a bit more. With all these things as well as being human, having a relationship and being a mum I don’t know how to do it but I guess I’ll just give it a crack.
So that’s where I am at at the end of 2016. I was going to write something more but Kidlet can’t find her purple bunny and I’ve been distracted big time. Here’s some photos from recent days:
By Lily Mae Martin
105 x 75cm
Ink on paper
Rebirth is a meditation on the identity shifts that occur in a woman after the
act of giving birth.
Birth is a physical experience that may be simultaneously extraordinary and
traumatic. Motherhood is central to a traditional understanding of female
identity; at the same time, the physical implications and complications of birth
work in direct opposition to contemporary female beauty standards that play a
role in reinforcing those same social roles and responsibilities.
The woman in this drawing kneels naked, but it is not a pose of submission.
She leans forward as if poised to stand, her hands gripping her thighs. The
face, usually the primary source of emotional expression, is hidden, giving the
naked body space to speak. The woman’s breasts and stomach draw the
viewer’s focus, representations of both sexuality and motherhood and the
complicated relationship between the two. The scarring across her belly,
incurred from a pregnancy injury and usually hidden from sight, recalls
physical distress and trauma, but also speaks to experience, knowledge,
strength and resilience.
Here are some pictures of the work in progress:
So this is my final piece for 2016! What a year it has been. I have a whole lot of things planned for 2017 – experiments and a residency and new small works.
Thank you to everyone for your interest and support and sharing my work.
It’s done. It is all done and now we are in the confusing haze that is the week between Christmas Day and New Years. Which I much prefer to the blinding panic/ rage that is the lead up to Christmas!
I hardly got anything done that I planned to do. I got a bit sick in the week leading up to it all and just gave up. Which forced me to have a very low key Xmas day and I think I have to do that again each year. We didn’t have an excess of anything. Did it all meat and alcohol free so no one is in a bad way at all. A bit tired but no one is burnt out and now we are planning our bike trips and play dates and it’s all pretty lovely and relaxing. This is how it should be!
I did whip up a gingerbread house for Husband and Kidlet to decorate. And yes – I whipped it up and was very suspicious of how easy it was.. Kidelt and her friend got to demolish it on Xmas eve and it was very funny to watch. I think it’s becoming a little tradition which is super sweet.
A few days before the day I went and collected some new decorations for our tree – as the ones we do have a very sad and very old. There’s more glitter and stars now, which makes Kidlet very happy.
How special is the dress?
Now, it is time to get back to work.. I hope to finish a large drawing before New Years and then start a new one and that is how I will celebrate.
Two small drawings by me, hanging next to a painting by Luke Sciberras at Scott Livesey Galleries in Armadale, on view until December 21st
“I tried to draw you mummy, but it didn’t work”
“Am I angry?”
“No, it just didn’t work”
“I love it, can I keep it?”
“Yeah, but it didn’t work out how I wanted it to”
“That doesn’t matter, because it is AMAZING”
Nadia Toukhsati’s paint palette.
Truck stop views.
Drawing together – “You never draw anything cool mummy” haha. Bless.